can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
