i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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