Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
