Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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