i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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