shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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