what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?