People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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