i think my mom watched the whole time
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
