Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
