you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
