I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He did a backflip because drugs
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