I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm having to shit out rocks
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
