hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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