Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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