apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
