ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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