dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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