But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
