guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
