i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do vagina's smell?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
