I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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