I wanna bring you to show and tell
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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