the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
