Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
