so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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