Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
