the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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