I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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