somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The adults are the big ones right?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
