Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
