At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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