Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
