My first STD was from a foam party
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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