i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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