I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
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