Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
