I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
