he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
