Banned from zoo.
Again?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
