Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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