your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
