No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
