i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
