i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You are a genius and a whore.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
