We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's never too late to be topless.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
