That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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