my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
