only you would photoshop your dick
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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