i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
