I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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