i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
