YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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