she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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