just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
