I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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