i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
