she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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