youre lurking in front of me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
