so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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