We're facebook friends in real life
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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