Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
