i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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