I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
