Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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