my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Small penises have feelings too.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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