win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
