So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
