puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
