No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
